HW 53 - Independent Research A

Dance, Laugh, Drink. Save the Date: It’s a Ghanaian Funeral.

Whether they are taking place in Ghana or America, Ghanian funerals always resemble a wild party rather than a sad ceremony. After the death of a family member or a friend, people of the Ghanian culture organize a huge event where everyone comes to dance, drink and have fun with their friends and family. Everyone  invited is expected to pay a fair amount of money  to help fund the funeral or transport back to Ghana.

None of the guests of such a funeral party are ever seen sad or mourning. There are cases where the people who come or are invited never even had anything to do with the deceased person. Death in this culture is seen as another excuse to party. When a Ghanaian is bored, they ask around if perhaps someone is not holding a funeral. And it does not exactly matter if someone passed away a few days or a few months ago- a joyous celebration of someone's death is always welcome, whenever and wherever.

(New York Times, April 11, 2011)

Joyful Celebration

The inhabitants of Bali believe in reincarnation after cremation. Their funeral ceremony mainly consists of a colorful procession with everyone laughing, talking and enjoying themselves. Once cremated, some of the ashes are buried at a cemetery while the rest is thrown into a river. The ceremony ends without a single sad face.

(Otwock News, October 31, 2003)

A Gypsy Queen's Funeral

A Gypsy Queen's Funeral took place on April 15th at St. Mary's Catholic Church. The celebration was a simple ceremony with guests and family members dressed and accompanied by a recurring theme of the color black. After a celebration in church, the mourners started a procession in which the queen in her hearse was followed by coaches and a wagon for the family. It was a very gloom and dark yet plain funeral.

(New York Times, April 16, 1892)

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These three articles show different perspectives on death. Two of them, Asian and African, illustrate a positive and lively approach to funerals while the third, mainly European, shows quite the opposite.  It is tempting to hypothesize that their origins had a strong influence on their habits. Eastern Asian and African cultures are known to be much older than those of the Gypsies. Perhaps the first tribes believed that death was something good, that people should celebrate that someone went to a supposedly better place. As cultures and traditions evolved over the years and through different continents, death started to be associated with sadness and mourning over the loss of a loved one. 

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I sent an email with two questions to a funeral home and a company which makes diamonds out of cremains. I was surprised because I actually expected to be ignored by them completely. 

- My first question to the funeral home (Dimiceli & Sons in Manhattan) addressed a similar aspect to what Jessica Mitford defined as pre-need sale. In some cases, people have the misfortune of living completely alone with no friends and family, so I asked if Dimiceli & Sons often get questions from people planning their own funeral. I got the answer that yes, and that in these cases customers "can appoint someone (anyone)....a neighbor, priest, minister, lawyer, rabbi, etc to see that final disposition of the remains is handled properly. " 

In answer to my second question, the Dimiceli & Sons representative answered that the most difficult aspect of working in the funeral industry is dealing with the funeral of babies children and young people. It is also not easy for them to handle "moms-to-be who lose their child in-utero."

- I interviewed Life Gem, a company making memorial diamonds, because I actually like the idea of turning part of a loved one into a beautiful memorial which can be kept forever and even passed on among generations. 

First, I asked about the usual relationship of their customers to the loved one whose cremains they want turned into diamonds (whether it is mostly family or do friends sometimes order these diamonds as well). I got the answer that orders are made almost always by family members.

Similarly to the regular funeral industry, Life Gem also gets questions in advance. They receive pre-need inquiries "quite often. Sometimes months in advance, sometimes years in advance."

I almost feel that if it wasn't for the fact that I was interviewing death companies about their trade, it wouldn't be that obvious what the main subject is. This might sound confusing but what I mean  is that the representatives who answered my questions seemed almost oblivious to death and "talked" about it as they would about any other topic. I think that, because they deal with it on a daily basis, people in this industry almost have to develop a sort of impassivity. They would not get anywhere if they teared up with every customer they came across. This may seem depressing but its just another part of their job, a kind of sacrifice which has to be made, just like with any other job.

Further questions:

-Do funeral homes have different procedures when dealing with funerals of children and unborn babies? Are there different laws/rules when it comes to the death of a little human?

-Do funeral homes offer services for pets, for fervid animal lovers?