HW 36 - Pregnancy & Birth Stories

I interviewed my parents, both at the same time. I had an idea it would provoke further discussions and sharing opinions I wouldn't have heard by simply just asking them questions. 

I started off asking my mom if her pregnancies (she is a mother of two) affected her relationship with my dad or other members of our family. Firstly, she answered that it didn't have that much of an impact, but then my dad joined in. He disagreed with her completely and said that the pregnancies made him, personally, feel much closer to our mom and that he was glad that this was the case. After hearing this, my mom changed her mind and agreed that having a child is definitely bonding. 

My parents felt that having children was simply a natural step in their lives. Although their first child (my brother) was, in a way, unexpected, they were thrilled to have him and, less than four years later, they had me. 

I also asked them if the pregnancies changed their opinions and views. My mom said that the pregnancy itself didn't really affect her life but having children and raising them obviously did. She mentioned that children change how you see the world; "you start looking at everything from a different perspective. You start realizing things you never would have thought of before". However, I felt that having children did not affect my mom as much as my dad. He said that when he saw my brother or me for the first time, he suddenly felt more mature and responsible. He was also incredibly proud of my mother for putting up with the pregnancy and for going through with it so well. That being said, my mom asked dad whether he felt that, even though it was mom carrying the baby, it was also him who was pregnant. He admitted that yes, he felt like the responsibility during those 9 months was equally his as well as my mom's. This seemed strange, but I suppose it is one of those things you can't understand unless you experience them yourself. My parents agreed that pregnancies were a challenge and test for the both of them. When asked if dad helped mom during the whole process, from pregnancy to after labor, they started talking over each other, listing all the things he did to keep mom from doing almost anything around the house. He tried his best to make her feel like a queen. 

During her first pregnancy, my mom attended a school of childbirth. The courses consisted of practical parts, which included breathing and relaxation techniques, and theoretical classes, about the stages during pregnancy etc. My mother memorized everything carefully from start to finish, but when it came to giving birth to her first child, she had the type of pain you couldn't do anything about. All the breathing techniques she learned didn't help when she was giving birth to my brother. 4 years later, when she was pregnant with me, she already remembered the classes she had taken before and did all the exercises at home. When giving birth for the second time, everything went better than before. She had contractions just as they were explained to her in the school of childbirth and used all the breathing and relaxation methods she had learnt before. 

I was born exactly on the day when it was planned. I was a perfect baby. When a midwife placed me on my mom's chest, the first thing I did was hug her and quietly lie there. My brother, on the other hand, is always in a rush to do everything. This was also true when he was being born. First off, he was born a week earlier than expected. Then,  "when they put him on my chest, the first thing he wanted to do is push away and crawl off to somewhere else. He can never stay in one place for too long. Ever." said my mom with a tut followed by laughter. She always describes holding each of her children for the first time as the best, most beautiful moments of her life. And she always mentions this with tears in her eyes. 

Listening to my parents talking about having children, to them discussing different issues and having similar views was a great experience. It showed me, and ensured me in the fact that I have a charming family and loving parents who would do anything for me. I think this is what a model family should look like in our culture. The example of my parents shows a "standard" approach to having children. Still, since I was born in Poland and my whole family is fully Polish, I presume certain aspects of pregnancy and childbirth are slightly different in America than what I think and believe in. 

Which brings me to my exploration question:

How are my (Polish) images on pregnancy and having children different to what is commonly believed in, in the US?